


Checkers and Chess

by Satelesque



Series: Appleradio Collection [4]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: And this is more fun, Because we don't condone cheating, M/M, Meet the Family, Open Relationships, Poker Metaphors, Relationship Discussions, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:53:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24668695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Satelesque/pseuds/Satelesque
Summary: A blizzard and a canceled tour stop leave Lilith with a chance to drop by the hotel unannounced.  Charlie is utterly delighted by the chance to give her a tour, but before that Lilith makes time for a little chat.And once again the bar proves itself to be an excellent and truly essential addition to the hotel.
Relationships: Alastor/Lucifer Magne, Lilith Magne/Lucifer Magne
Series: Appleradio Collection [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1780735
Comments: 14
Kudos: 100





	Checkers and Chess

Alastor didn’t enjoy being a paging system for the hotel. Never mind that he’d set himself up for it. Never mind that in the early days of remodeling he’d personally made sure radios were scattered throughout the place. It was simply common sense. Bored demons were no better than lit fuses, and how else were guests supposed to entertain themselves?

Only grudgingly had Alastor agreed to make morning announcements, only by his own scripts, and only because Charlie asked very nicely. Anything else was by his whim alone and important enough for him to overcome his distaste. The staff quickly learned that if Alastor’s voice came on, it was in their best interests to drop what they were doing and listen.

So when Alastor casually raised his mic and said, “Charlie, dear, you have a visitor in the front lobby,” it was barely fifteen seconds before she came stumbling in, straightening her tie and brushing flour from her clothes. She spotted him at the bar but only made it two steps toward him before she stopped and sprinted toward the front door.

“Mom! It’s been ages!”

For a moment it looked as though Charlie would tackle the poor lady, but Lilith caught her mid-jump and swept her into a spin. By the time Charlie’s feet touched the ground, they were wrapped in a tight hug.

“Oh, I know dear! It’s so good to see you!”

They stayed that way for almost a minute before Charlie started wiggling free. “I thought you were still on tour,” she said.

Lilith shook her head. “Canceled. There’s a localized blizzard over Perdition City. Nothing to be done, but now I have time to see how my sweet little girl is doing.”

“I’ll give you the grand tour!” Charlie beamed at her, but for a moment her smile faltered. “Uh, I just need a minute first.”

“Take all the time you need, dear.”

“Super!” Charlie was already halfway across the lobby, and she said the word over her shoulder as she sprinted toward the hall.

“Kids,” Lilith sighed as she walked toward the bar, not that either of its occupants were able to commiserate.

“So I’ve heard,” she managed to get from Husk. “Need a drink?”

“It’s barely noon. Just a mimosa, please.” She paired the order with a thin smile and a pointed look, and Husk of all people was practiced enough at reading smiles that he got the memo.

“One mimosa and one AWOL bartender, coming right up.” The mix was a simple one, and within seconds he was pushing it across the table. “Anything else? No? Great, ‘cause suddenly I’m dying to know what Charlie’s up to.”

As he passed, Husk aimed a quick look at Alastor over Lilith’s shoulder. The concern was adorable, really, but Alastor’s expression didn’t change, just as it had barely shifted from the moment Lilith walked through the front door. The usual wide smile, head resting on his hand, and one brow raised in curiosity, almost daring Lilith to dismiss him too. But of course she didn’t. Both of them knew that wasn’t the point.

“You’ve trained him well,” she said instead.

“Oh, it wasn’t me,” Alastor laughed, then gestured at the “Come & Play Blackjack” sign dragged along in Husk’s summoning. “No, you can thank the poker table.”

“There’s no need to be modest. After all, Charlie’s not the only one I’m here for.” She turned to him and crossed her legs at the knee. “I thought I’d meet the man who’s been spending so much time with my family.”

Now that was fascinating. Lilith spoke with her body just as much as Alastor did, but not with waves or sharp, dynamic gestures. She spoke through posture, through slight angles of her head and shoulders and carefully composed expressions. Maybe it was a habit from her modeling career. Maybe it was what made her such a perfect model in the first place, going all the way back to the days of charcoal and oil paintings.

Right now, everything about her screamed  _ assessing. _ The slightly squinted eyes and raised brows. The smile not a degree warmer than “polite.” The way she sat on the bar stool, not leaning forward or back, resting her elbow on the counter. Her knees were perfectly crossed, carefully uncovered by the high slit in her dress, and her heels narrowed to daggerlike points.

Normally it’d be tempting to lean in and take over the show—to wrap an arm around her shoulders until she too was dancing to his beat—but right now it wasn’t, and not because of rank or status. After all, half the fun of playing with Lucifer was the small chances to get one over on him despite all his power.

Lilith was different. Interrupting her wouldn’t be a win. It would be crass, like trying to show up an artist by painting over their canvas. He could do better than that.

“Of course!” Alastor said and crossed his own knees. For a moment he mirrored her posture, holding it just long enough to be intentional, and then he was off. His head tipped as he gestured widely across the lobby. “I’ve been spending more and more time here lately, but Charlie’s been such a dear. No need to worry! I wouldn’t harm a hair on her head!”

Lilith narrowed her eyes, just enough to be noticeable. “No, I’m sure you wouldn’t, but you know that’s only half of what I’m talking about.”

“But don’t you see? It all comes back to the hotel! This little stunt. It’s all worked well beyond my expectations. Joining in, lending a hand, putting my name on this project. . .” Alastor twirled his wrist as he spoke and ended with it held open toward Lilith. “I expected it to draw an audience, and here you are, the latest in a long line. I haven’t had this much fun in decades!”

“Oh, I know you meant to catch our eye.”  _ Our, _ she said, and of all the demons lured to the hotel, there was no mistaking who she meant.

“How could I not? You’re both such doting parents, exactly the sort to keep an eye out when the Radio Demon walks through the door. But you wouldn’t kill me, neither of you, or it’d upset dear Charlie.”

“That’s a thin line you’re walking.”

“It’s a thin line I’ve  _ walked, _ and just look where it’s led me.” Alastor held his arms out wide, gesturing around the hotel and everything past it. An entire afterlife built on calculated gambles gone according to plan.

“Indeed.” Lilith barely reacted, only raising a brow. “So tell me. What is it like, fucking my husband?”

It was only because he had a script to follow that Alastor barely flinched. Only because he’d been rehearsing scenarios from the moment Lilith walked through the door. He tapped a finger to his chin in thought, hummed, and said, “It tends to be the other way around, for one.”

Lilith didn’t so much as twitch, and the silence stretched out across the empty lobby. Then, with a sigh and a dip of her shoulders, all the tension in the room vanished. She took another sip of her mimosa and put on a soft smile. “You don’t miss a step, do you? I can see why he likes you.”

“Hm?”

“You’re not all that different, you know. The same energy, same antics. You’re both completely full of yourselves, and neither of you knows when to shut up.”

Now that was sheer misrepresentation, and Alastor couldn’t let it stand. “You might find I know exactly when to shut up. I  _ was _ human for a time, but here I have the choice not to, and this? This is much more entertaining.”

Lilith just smiled, leaning forward. “Oh, I’m sure. Tell me, when you’re together, do you ever stop bickering?”

“Not for a minute.”

“And you don’t get tired?”

Alastor tipped his head, throwing her a quizzical look as if it was a non-sequitur. “Of what?”

That earned him the first laugh of the evening, a quiet chuckle into the back of Lilith’s palm. “No, never mind,” she said, and her smile shifted to something genuinely warm as her hands folded in her lap. “I’m sure he’s told you about our arrangement. They call it an open relationship nowadays. You should be honored. Usually it’s a passing fancy while I’m on tour, but now I know exactly what he sees in you.” She leaned forward, her eyes and smile going thin and sharp. “You make it so tempting to try and wipe that grin off your face. Lucky for you, it’s just as tempting to be the reason it’s there. Or unlucky, maybe. You may be enjoying yourself, but Lucifer doesn’t want to make you happy. He wants you under his thumb.”

“Oh?” She was still leaning forward, determined to go on, and Alastor settled in to pay attention. Even if the rest was more repetition of what Alastor already knew, it would still be a confirmation. Still potential ammo, straight from the one who knew Lucifer better than anyone else.

“You know,” she said, “most people assume he has a soft spot for rebels. They think he’ll let them off easy because he knows what it’s like, but don’t forget. He lost in the end, and he hates being reminded.” Her voice was hushed but gleeful as she said it, as if it were a scandalous rumor and not a biblical fact. “Yet here you are, mister chooses-not-to-shut-up. How is it that you aren’t dead yet?”

Alastor joined her in leaning in, mirroring the faux conspiratorial smile. “You mean he hasn’t told you?”

“Oh, he has, but I want to hear it from you.”

“Then it’s simple. I let him win.”

Lilith’s laugh was more genuine that time, high pitched and open as she sat back again. “Oh, is that it? And what about  _ your _ pride? Doesn’t it sting?” Her voice turned the last word into onomatopoeia, the ‘s’ subtly hissed and the rest sharp as a blade. Alastor couldn’t help but appreciate it even as it sank home.

“Of course it does. But a low-stakes game for Lucifer is a high-stakes game for me. He can afford to play every hand, but I have to know when to fold. That’s the price of sitting at the table, and all things considered, it’s not always an unpleasant one.”

Lilith didn’t miss the catch. “Your little analogy has you coming out ahead.”

“Hm, so it does. But Lucifer isn’t the strategist between the two of you, is he?” Alastor mused with a grin, then waved the thought aside. “Besides, none of us are going to pretend it matters. The game’s worth more than the winnings, and they’re a pittance to you anyway, but who knows? Maybe one day I’ll hit a jackpot.”

Lilith covered a smile with her hand. “A jackpot in poker? You might be waiting longer than you think.”

“And still playing all the while.” He tipped his head and grinned, only for Lilith to finally throw him off balance.

“And the sex?”

The second time Alastor wasn’t prepared for, and he attempted to turn the flinch into a shrug before giving her the truth. “His idea, not mine. I could take it or leave it.”

“Hmm.” Lilith paused to consider it before moving on. “You haven’t asked if I’m jealous.”

“Would it matter if you were?”

For seconds the two only stared at each other, Lilith perfectly still, Alastor tilting his head and widening his grin.

Lilith was by no means weak, but she wasn’t her husband. She didn’t fight with might or magic, but with reputation and politics. Her weapons were rumors and alliances, trade deals and legal claims. None of which had any hold on Alastor.

She couldn’t attack him through his territory. Ad revenue from his stations would keep it afloat if all else failed, and Alastor didn’t need money to get by. She’d be hard pressed to find allies powerful and willing enough to stand against the Radio Demon, and Alastor had done more damage to his own reputation in joining the Hotel than anything Lilith could manage. Even that hadn’t stuck for long.

She’d be shooting arrows at an airplane, playing chess while he played checkers. She couldn’t touch him, not without hitting Charlie in the crossfire, so instead she was here, confirming that she didn’t have to. 

“He’ll never love you.”

Lilith’s words were perfectly matter-of fact. Her shoulders were set and her head tipped back to look down on him from even heights. Not like he loves me, she as good as said. He’ll never trust you, never show you his back, never turn to you in a moment of weakness.

A swing and a miss. Alastor simply raised a hand to his chest. “I should hope not! That’d be the day I’d have to fear for his sanity instead of questioning it, and I’ve never found fear all that useful an emotion.”

“Clearly,” she muttered, but her smile was a warm one. “I’m not, if you were wondering. I’m no more jealous of you than you are of me. He may have a type, but we’re as far apart within it as—“

“Light and shadow?” Alastor suggested, and this time both of them laughed, just in time for Charlie to jog into the room.

“We’re done with the. . . Did I miss something?”

“Not at all, dear,” Lilith said, and tipped back the rest of her mimosa before getting up. “It’s been a pleasure, Alastor.”

She tipped her head just the slightest fraction. Not a bow, barely a nod, but a clear sign of regard.

“Likewise,” Alastor said and crossed an arm in front of him in a bow as he stood. “Lady Lilith. Enjoy the tour.”

Lilith aimed a last look over her shoulder as she left, a sarcastic glare of competition that wasn’t, and Alastor closed his eyes and waved. The sound of Charlie’s voice echoed distantly down the hallway, gradually fading as Alastor took a deep breath and helped himself to a tumbler of whiskey.

So Lucifer had a type, huh. Alastor could hazard a guess. Clever, charismatic, talented, dignified in their own way, and ruthless enough to hold their own against anything Hell threw at them. Taller than him, too, maybe.

Other than that, he and Lilith were nothing alike. Polar opposites, like she’d said. She was ambitious, while any success Alastor came by was merely a byproduct of his search for entertainment. She built connections and alliances, while he burned his bridges as the mood suited him. She was strong where he didn’t bother to be, and she covered for her weaknesses not with apathy but careful networks. A more complete defense, maybe, but one that took too much patience and steady effort for Alastor to bother with.

She couldn’t hurt him, but the reverse was just as true. The moment he tried, Alastor could kiss his life goodbye. Good thing, then, that neither of them had reason to.

Light and shadow, huh. For a while Alastor sipped at his drink and ran through his mental catalog of upcoming shows, wondering if there were any that all three of them might find time for while Lilith was still in town.

**Author's Note:**

> For Day 3: Temptation
> 
> Ah yes, the Appleradio fic where Lucifer doesn't show up. That's the fun of writing these prompts instead of drawing them. I get to take it in any random, silly direction I want!
> 
> This might be the last one of these I get done in time, but we'll be back to our lovable duo on day 4, whenever that ends up being.


End file.
